Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
