We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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