You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize