The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
