Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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