He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
