I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
