Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
