Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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