He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
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just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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