I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
