I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight