Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon