You smell like stripper and shame
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.