Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?