She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week