And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
