this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
