wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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