im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
