Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
4 words: hood of his car
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
