whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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