i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
