so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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