Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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