Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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