oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
