Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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