Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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