Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
