i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
