Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm always down for nudity.
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