we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
