I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
