me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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