Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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