Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
