Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
