We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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