Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
