Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
