hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
