Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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