but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
