Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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