i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
