My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize