BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm always down for nudity.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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