I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
