Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
