even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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