First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
