did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
