She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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