you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
