Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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