i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
