I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
