Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
