I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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