shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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