idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
