Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
