I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
