So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
