I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
