I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
